The strangers we live with (on family and friends that are increasingly becoming strangers in our lives)

By Wanambwa M. Rogers

Photo: The Rolex Booth


Isn’t it funny and sad at the same time that the people whom you would expect to lean on for support in trying times, are the same ones who will be first to abscond? As unfortunate as this seems, it is many times what happens. Look at these examples:


A woman loses her husband and in the wake of her death, the husband’s family rises up and takes all the late’s properties leaving the widow destitute with her young kids. Her family too abandons her saying the husband’s family should take over and look after her and her brood, that after all, the children are not of their side but the man’s side. She remains in “air”(n’asigala mubanga), loose translation from a Luganda phrase.


A man loses his job and his wife cheats on him with a richer man, and finally leaves, that she cannot leave with a ‘lazy’ man. His friends stop picking his calls since “all he does is call asking for endless favours” and they also have their own problems and issues to solve.


A woman confides in her best friend all her secrets and how her husband is the best man God can give to a woman given the way he treats her. So called best friend does whatever is possible and snatches the man away from her friend. Ten years down the road, the man realizes he made a mistake but even though he decides to divorce her, it’s too late, he cannot get back his former wife. All their lives are destroyed by misery in the end because of envy.


A woman’s best friend murders her because she got the promotion they were vying for at the company they work at so that she gets the position. In the end, she’s nabbed by police investigators and thrown in jail for murder one, life imprisonment. Both lose life literally and figuratively in case of the former and later respectively.


What do you see in all these examples?


1.That in all cases, so many people end up hurting because of the actions of a few.


2.That people’s futures are destroyed by such actions and normally, even the perpetrator(s) don’t get away with being evil to others.


3.That the one(s) whom you trust most may as well be your worst enemy(even the Bible insistently tells us to trust no one).


A study found out that on average you’ll lose almost all your friends every 15years. The reasons included death, separation through work, shifting from a place to another, political conflict, but amongst these and most common was just misunderstandings between friends.


So I’m saying that you shouldn’t open to people and live life?
No, not at all, what I’m trying to do is point out facts and illuminate on a subject that I believe affects many of us. And most importantly, I’m trying to show you what not to do.
Not to be the villain in the story. To be a better person and to remind us that we should be able to do better by our friends and family when they fall into problems.


Say hi once in a while, call and check on others, they may just be in dire need of a good joke from a friend(do you find it surprising that we have growing cases of depression and suicides in the world?), help out a friend or family member, you may be the only solution to their problem.

4 Replies to “The strangers we live with (on family and friends that are increasingly becoming strangers in our lives)”

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