IQ vs EQ vs AQ (Series)

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Part 4(EQ)

By Florence Rwengabo

“There is no separation of mind and emotions; emotions, thinking, and learning is all linked”- Eric Jensen

It is a lovely Sunday. You have decided that one of the things you will do is take those medical checks you have been putting off. You do and one surprises you. It is positive.

It is life-altering. Please keep in mind that you are at the peak of your career, as a matter of fact, this is the week you are moving to a different department because you recently got that long-awaited promotion and you have been over the moon.

Now, however, everything is radically falling apart.

Question; Would you be capable of finding a balance? Know how to tend to your emotions, deliver at your job and adapt to the new changes that each of these circumstances carries without losing yourself? If yes, how?

Before I go an inch further, I want to believe that by now you know the definition of each of these quotients. If you do not, please go to wanam world as this is the residence of this series as I won’t dwell deep into them.

Now, that you are up to speed, let’s carry on.

I first intentionally learnt of the three quotients when I decided that I was going to be an expert in my line of work. My brilliance was the one thing I relied on to take me places because quite frankly, my emotions and adaptability were one giant mess.

As I learnt more, however, I realized how crucial these quotients were. The one advantage; It was not too late to learn and improve in any of these areas so, I did. 

Intelligence Quotient, regardless of how complex it might seem and what genes you carry as many have attached to it, can be enhanced. All you need to do is invest both money and time in yourself and be willing to learn at any age to say the least.

Adaptability Quotient, on the other hand, can be a little tricky according to the kind of person you are. Things like your personality come in handy here, so I will say know your personality and learn how to enhance it in every environment without depleting yourself. 

Emotional Quotient, however, which is where I want us to focus is far more personal, intimate, deep and potentially unpredictable. It is the capsule that can potentially explode the other two for better or worse.

“The emotionally intelligent person is skilled in four areas: identifying emotions, using emotions, understanding emotions, and regulating emotions”-John Mayer and Peter Salovey.

Let us go back to our scenario at the start of this article. That was me sometime last year. And need I tell you that I have never been so close to the end.

Allowing myself to feel and learn why I was feeling the way I was, accepting it, managing myself wholly and still delivering at my work while adjusting to the new environment I had just moved in was near impossible. 

Most of my relationships ended because I was emotionally distracted and entirely unavailable to anyone else. I learnt things about myself that I thought were a sheer mystery.

Yet the world did not stop for me, not for one split second. 

    “Relieve yourself of the notion that everything revolves around you. It does not”.

My work still needed me to be the brilliant new hire. My people still asked when I was getting married and, yes, I still had bills to pay.

Now you must understand that I am a relatively small-bodied person so, let us not get into the fact that I was shrinking day by day to a point where I was 40Kgs. 

What did I do? You must be wondering.

I stripped myself bare to a point where I was able to lovingly and peacefully identify, use, understand and regulate my emotions appropriately without any intervention.

I intentionally decided not to move onto the next thing until I identified the honest often ugly answers entirely abandoning the influence of my ego or pride.

Among countless things, I found that this was the only way to know how and when to move on intelligently. You will know when something is about you or someone else and respect that. Stay or to move. To be silent and listen or speak.

This, I found was my emotional quotient growth journey and I am still on it.

Florence has an impressive body of work that if you love such deep and touching pieces, you should definitely check out here.

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