She Said no. After

Sometimes as men, we tend to forget that the other gender can be polite, engaging (and sometimes flirty?) yet they will still say no to your advances.

May I be frank here and tell the ladies that we are perfectly capable of doing the same!

The year-long lockdown we have had is making many people bored and you know how a bored mind and the devil buddy up.

You begin flirting with someone, maybe not at first, but a compliment to their picture, here and there. They do the same.

Someone complimenting my work would be a great way to start for example. (Information can be used however lol)

Then you are chatting incessantly, noting things, and sending memes, quotes, and before you know it, one of you drops in a word or two.

Awkward at first, then exhilarating and exciting. You both start from there.

You can’t to talk to them, wake up in the wee hours of the morning and sext. It’s all fun, right?

The feelings start creeping in for one of you (maybe both of you even).

Then it reaches a point and you just want to meet “for coffee” or “lunch”. You both know it’s more than that but won’t admit it.

You may even go to one of y’all’s place…

“I had a great time.” Accompanied with a range of emojis. One of sends a message after. The other replies later than usual, they were “kinda caught up.”

No explanation like the usual, no “Sorry dear.”

Red flag! But you decidedly ignore it. You’ll look back at this moment and realize that it should have been the only warning you needed.

Then communication becomes one-sided. And stressful.

You become mad! Don’t they know you care? It’s pretty obvious you do!

At the back of your mind, this nagging voice has been there the whole time. Telling you to look past the flirtation, past the sweet voice, past the feeling that you get every time you talk to them.

To see them for who they really are. Someone that cares and respects you would take things slower. They would want to date you ‘for real’ if they were interested.

They would say it outright if they were interested! Has she ever said it?

You try to remember but obviously, she never did.

It was all a lockdown thing to her that would end when things got back to normal for her.

You panic. Tell her you have feelings for her. Then stupidly give an ultimatum.

“This is it. Tell me if you are into me or not? Is this going anywhere serious? Can we date? As in make this official?”

And she said no. Oops! I meant, and she says no.

After all that.

But it was a lockdown thing, nothing serious. You know!

Unless there is proper communication for the other party about things, don’t assume for them. This applies to all situations really.

Rogers.

Together Always Worked

Fashion and Culture: On togetherness that was our custom.

By Rogers Wanambwa

As we conclude the Fashion and Culture week, it is important to visit a common aspect of our cultures that helped our forefathers survive.

That is to say, togetherness.

Across the world, the only way people survived the harsh realities of this world was together.

Growing up, children depended on the whole community. For protection, clothing, feeding, and even discipline. It was a collective duty to raise them.

I bring this up first because we are in the middle of yet another lockdown in Uganda and people have never been more divided.

It is rather marvelous how little we have learnt from this whole ordeal!

Children are being preyed upon by their would-be protectors and it simply sad to know!

UGANET is an NGO that fights for the rights of women, girls and key populations.

Even the community itself can not be trusted!

The figures above have since gone up to over 7,000. Note: This is one district out of over 100.

We can not go on like this, living individual lives if we are to get through this.

Only when we go back to communal togetherness and reliance will we see progress.

Even in business, working with others gets you far. Alliances and mergers are always happening in the business world on a daily. This is more common than you would think.

We need to be more trustworthy and honest with each other as it was. This can only be achieved by holding each other accountable.

When did we start praising corruption and debauchery in this land?

When did the wrong thing get to a grey area when debate must first occur to determine how wrong something is?

We need to do better. For our forefathers, for ourselves, for our children, and the future of this, our motherland.

Imbalu (Rite to Manhood)

Fashion and Culture: On Imbalu, one of the last standing customary rites in Uganda

For some reason, I have spent the better part of this week castigating us as Africans for ditching something wonderful.

However, I wrote about something that one of my tribes holds dear and esteemed.

Please check out the article from last year’s #WinterABC2020 even as we come closer to finishing this year’s #WinterABC2021.

Imbalu (Rite to Manhood)

The Price of What we Forsook

Culture and Fashion: On the Price of What we Forsook

By Rogers Wanambwa

Culture is basically defined as the ideas, customs, and social behaviour of a particular people or society.

Additionally, it is also defined as the arts and other manifestations of human intellectual achievement regarded collectively.

If I asked you what it means to be African (or American, British, Indian, or Brazilian, depending on where you are reading this from), are you able to tell me that is?

More than ever, globalization seems to blur the lines of what individuality and community means.

Now it’s a ‘global village’ talk everywhere and we appear to be losing ourselves in all the flair.

Perhaps we need to slow down a little to increase our speed in a better way.

We need to layout who we are as Africans. We need to develop a distinct culture of our own.

We need to answer questions as these:

  • What do we believe in?
  • What defines us?
  • What are we not willing to give up at all costs?
  • What do we want to keep from our past? And what are we taking forward?
  • What won’t we copy from other cultures? (We have copied a lot already as it is)
  • What does culture really mean to us?
  • How important is our culture to us? Can we do away with it?
  • And so on.

It is not enough to remember our cultural dressing at that function, or for a photoshoot. This is why it’s foreigners seeing what we have and how beautiful it is.

We can’t appreciate what we have no use for.

It is only when we answer those questions and start appreciating what we have and had that we will realize the price of what we forsook along the way.

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