Ms Eunice (final chapter)

Check out where the story begins from here.

Naturally, when you are an accomplished person, whether man or woman, your family, friends, and colleagues all expect to see a significant other in your life.

This has not been the case for me. I am closed off to anything that will lead to intimacy!

Has there never been anyone special?

Oh, there was! This handsome, tall, black guy I met on a case I was handling. He reported the case.

He was a concerned neighbour and a witness. I was intrigued by a man that felt touched by the beatings that the victim was suffering at the hands of her husband in the dead of night.

After the case, he asked me out. “I know how these things work. You can’t go out with witnesses, victims. But since it’s done…”

Honestly, I had already developed a crush on him. An engineer and he was doing well for himself.

We would date for two months and at some point, he professed he loved me.

🤦🏿‍♀️

I knew such a day would come. Maybe later? Not this soon! Who professes in just two months?

He was willing to wait. That I was worth waiting for. I just couldn’t take it.

I am ashamed of what I did next!

I stopped talking to him. Changed my number and since he never knew where I stayed, I was careful for him not to, I disappeared.

Why?

Well, I am still traumatized from that experience all those years ago! I knew that’s where we were headed and I chickened out.

So, yeah, here I am. In the middle of the night, awake, wondering what I will do to get over that day.

The therapy sessions don’t seem to be working…

Ms Eunice is a story I have had in my head for months. She speaks to several things that happen around us which for some reason, don’t get enough attention. a) Rape and defilement are some of the biggest detriments in girls and women’s lives affecting their entire lives. b) Educating girls remains an issue in Africa where millions don’t receive it, reasons some of which I mentioned in the story. c) Though Ms Eunice hints about receiving therapy, it is something most people in Africa never get or seek out. d) For some reason, it’s difficult for people to fathom anyone not wanting children and marriage.

Well those and other issues you might have noticed are things I wanted to highlight as we complete the second Afrobloggers challenge, the #WinterABC2021. Thanks for passing by.

Ms Eunice (pt2)

The story starts from here.

Perhaps, you may ask: How did I get out of there?

Well, I got good grades in primary school and a wealthy neighbour promised to pay for my secondary and university.

He did, and honestly, I am grateful for he is one of the few that have since shown me kindness apart from my father.

We never used to get visited at school. It was simply too far away from home and the money our parents would have used for transportation, they sent us to use.

Unfortunately, because I got a sponsor, I went to slightly better schools from my siblings and so our time together stopped in primary school.

We grew apart. Only seeing each other in holidays which were always short.

Add the fact that we would be sent to relatives in said holidays and the valley between us continued to grow.

I don’t blame my parents though. These were times when you would get something from your relatives while returning to school. Part of your school fees, ‘grab’, and so on.

While at school though, something happened that would change my life. In my A’level, this teacher that I trusted so much started making advances at me.

I refused but he threatened to fail me if I refused.

Perhaps should have reported but I was so scared to say anything about it. I had heard that some male teachers would do this from time to time.

I finally gave in and it wasn’t so bad at first. He would lull me into feeling secure and cherished. Giving me extra money to buy breakfast and the like. Mind you, this was small monies he could afford.

Then it came.

One day, out of nowhere, he said I had to “be his proper girlfriend.” Wasn’t I already? Naive, right.

He got to remain behind one night. Our dormitories were across the school and we remained alone.

Should have been a red flag and it was. I was scared! Asked whether a friend should stay behind as we had been taught in our sex education class but…you can imagine.

He forced himself on me and I could do nothing but zone out till he was finished.

I fixed myself up best I could, and went back to the dormitory.

I had to wash the event away! And I did.

I thought I would stay the entire night awake but didn’t I sleep through the night and the next day?

Sick. That was the excuse. Suffice it to say, I didn’t perform in my finals.

I didn’t tell anyone apart from my sponsor who refuses to pay for my university until I explained the sudden change in performance. I had been an A (or Distinction really) student.

Before you know it, I was at university and I decided to take law. Well, I got to know I was not the only one who went through what I went through after we had left the school.

Some of the girls contracted HIV. I didn’t but I got something almost worse.

A fear of men. I became more withdrawn and concentrated on my books.

Then came time and I was out in the world. I was good at what I do. And I’m not bragging. I had a passion to see justice served.

Well, it paid off. It’s how got to this affluent place I was talking about yesterday.

But! Well, let’s finish this tomorrow.😌

Grab: edibles you go with to school. These include bread, roasted gnuts, biscuits, and so on.

Ms Eunice

It’s 3 am when I wake up. I head straight for the phone, check what’s happening on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Linked In. Then my emails.

I have like 20 new ones. It wasn’t the case just last year. I still can’t believe what transpired in just six months!

The wind howls outside and for the zillionth time, I wonder why there’s no man in this house! A roommate maybe? Ah!

But maybe let me start from the beginning.

My name is Eunice but most people call me Ms Eunice. I can’t remember when I was last called by anything else.

Here, I’m in my apartment in one of the affluent parts of the city and country. So different from where I grew up from. And the best part? I pay for this. Ms Independent y’all!

We always used to wake up early at home. All ten of us. And as the oldest, it was my duty to rally up my brothers and sisters to the garden.

At 5 am, we would be there already. We were not alone. Other children and parents including ours would all be out there.

I used to wonder, why weren’t we rich? We would work hard. Our parents even harder for they would stay there for the whole day as we went to school miles away from our homes.

From my childhood, I had my eyes set on bigger things. Thank God my parents believed in girls getting an education. Most of my peers never finished as they were either married off or they were denied an education past primary level.

“A girl’s destiny is marriage. Why waste resources on her education?” Most would say. Not my parents though.

All my siblings that wanted to study did.

Did I know what I wanted to be? Well, apart from out of there? No. I wanted to be in a better place, that’s all that mattered then.

But determination is key. I was decided to do all it takes to be something. My parents always said it was through education and that’s what I did.

Get educated.

I wish that’s all it took. But they didn’t know better. As I would find out later.

I will explain as you continue to read on this week.

She Said no. After

Sometimes as men, we tend to forget that the other gender can be polite, engaging (and sometimes flirty?) yet they will still say no to your advances.

May I be frank here and tell the ladies that we are perfectly capable of doing the same!

The year-long lockdown we have had is making many people bored and you know how a bored mind and the devil buddy up.

You begin flirting with someone, maybe not at first, but a compliment to their picture, here and there. They do the same.

Someone complimenting my work would be a great way to start for example. (Information can be used however lol)

Then you are chatting incessantly, noting things, and sending memes, quotes, and before you know it, one of you drops in a word or two.

Awkward at first, then exhilarating and exciting. You both start from there.

You can’t to talk to them, wake up in the wee hours of the morning and sext. It’s all fun, right?

The feelings start creeping in for one of you (maybe both of you even).

Then it reaches a point and you just want to meet “for coffee” or “lunch”. You both know it’s more than that but won’t admit it.

You may even go to one of y’all’s place…

“I had a great time.” Accompanied with a range of emojis. One of sends a message after. The other replies later than usual, they were “kinda caught up.”

No explanation like the usual, no “Sorry dear.”

Red flag! But you decidedly ignore it. You’ll look back at this moment and realize that it should have been the only warning you needed.

Then communication becomes one-sided. And stressful.

You become mad! Don’t they know you care? It’s pretty obvious you do!

At the back of your mind, this nagging voice has been there the whole time. Telling you to look past the flirtation, past the sweet voice, past the feeling that you get every time you talk to them.

To see them for who they really are. Someone that cares and respects you would take things slower. They would want to date you ‘for real’ if they were interested.

They would say it outright if they were interested! Has she ever said it?

You try to remember but obviously, she never did.

It was all a lockdown thing to her that would end when things got back to normal for her.

You panic. Tell her you have feelings for her. Then stupidly give an ultimatum.

“This is it. Tell me if you are into me or not? Is this going anywhere serious? Can we date? As in make this official?”

And she said no. Oops! I meant, and she says no.

After all that.

But it was a lockdown thing, nothing serious. You know!

Unless there is proper communication for the other party about things, don’t assume for them. This applies to all situations really.

Rogers.

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